This book was so many years in the making that it almost never got written. So says its 92-year-old author and longtime psychiatrist and counselor, Daniel Cowell, M.D.
Dr. Cowell spent 26 years in U.S. Public Health Service, which included high level positions at the National Bureau of Prisons and Psychiatry Chair at Marshall University School of Medicine. Cowell now leads a bereavement group at St. Ann Parish in Bethany Beach.
His book is the culmination of a lifetime journey and he credits the Holy Spirit for its publication.
Fear, apprehension, anxiety, confusion, depression. Cowell has lived through all of those and he has a soft spot in his heart for people who struggle.
Cowell and his wife, Diana, adopted several children in need from foster families, all of whom were deeply wounded from their home environments.
“The Lord selected us to be stewards of these children,” said Cowell. “We were not going to give up on them.” Even when they gave up on themselves.
“I know what it feels like to feel helpless and utterly alone and without resources,” said Cowell.
Years ago, Cowell was alone sitting in a Catholic church pew in West Virginia, where he often prayed and pondered in between seeing patients. He was consumed by deep worry about his son when he heard a distinct, clear, baritone voice speak, saying “leave the boy alone” — and then, “don’t waste what I have given you.”
“No doubt in my mind, that was the voice of the Lord,” said Cowell.
He thought about it a lot and realized that as a “helicopter parent,” he was not fully respecting his son’s talents — at the same time — maybe not fully appreciating his own.
“To this day, I can hear that voice clearly. So, I try not to take for granted what the Lord has given me — gifts he expects me to use.”
It was an epiphany of sorts.
“It’s easy for me to relate to those who carry burdens,” said Cowell. “Deep down, I know this was the kind of work I was supposed to be doing.”
“I climbed out of that pit, one step at a time,” said Cowell.
He met with a priest.
“Here I was a physician living an inauthentic life. It wasn’t until I met a priest on the last day of a silent retreat and read Thomas Merton’s book “No Man is an Island,” and the chapter “on being and doing” that I learned about the false self and the real self. The Lord wants us to live our real selves. But it’s not easy to get there, at least for some of us.”
Early memories of death still haunt him.
“Three times before the age of 20, I experienced funerals in the home. At age 6, 12 and 20. Funerals in a small house in Trenton, New Jersey,” said Cowell. “Those experiences were so powerful, I have olfactory memories of the flowers around the beer in the living room for my aunt, grandmother and grandfather. We had all lived together and it was a quirky family experience.”
Later, he learned a different and deeper grief when his infant son and adult daughter died.
“The child that never was and the child that never grew to fulfill her own potential,” said Cowell. “Some losses are so profound that grief is virtually inexpressible. An indication of a ‘soul wound,’” said Cowell.
“What made me what I am today is adversity, sorrow, tragedy and joy,” said Cowell. “Trying to really live a good life begins with one’s spirituality.”
His book is based on his career, personal journal and 13 years of bereavement work at his parish. Rather than speaking “intellect to intellect,” Cowell says the book speaks “heart to heart.”
It was providential, Cowell says, that the Knights of Columbus, Bethany Books, an editor, and a Catholic communications firm came together in a seamless thread of connections to help make the book happen, which he hopes will serve as a simple means of helping others reconcile complex brokenness that comes from losses.
Publishing medical papers were an achievement, Cowell says. But publishing a book brings fulfillment to an entire lifetime of work.
Of this Cowell is certain, “The Holy Spirit helped me bring this book to life as a healing instrument for others.”
Dr. Cowell’s book Good Grief: Finding Hope & Achieving Growth in the Face of Loss was released in September 2026.
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